Sticker Shock: The Best Funny Bumper Stickers of 2019 (That May Also Be a Little Inappropriate)

Old Fart graphic decal bumper sticker

Turn on the television during any round of commercials, and there’s a good chance you’ll see a car commercial. Cars are a staple of American culture, but sometimes it’s the accessories that can make your day.

One accessory that is often overlooked is the bumper sticker. Often printed on a piece of adhesive plastic, bumper stickers can express anything from political beliefs to words of wisdom to even the snarkiness we so often can’t express.

It’s this last one that makes for some very funny bumper stickers. We’ll talk about just a few of the funniest bumper stickers we’ve seen this year in the paragraphs below.

1. “I Used to Be Cool”

This one can often be found on the back of mini-vans or other family cars. If you see someone with this bumper sticker, don’t pity them.

At least they were once cool. Most of us were just anonymous, known only to our close friends and occasionally those who needed help.

Also, being cool is overrated. They have a family now, and their family probably thinks they’re awesome.

2. “I Was an Honor Student. I Don’t Know What Happened.”

Well, this is just a guess, but maybe you graduated. You’d think an honor student would be aware of that.

On a more serious note, life happened. It’s a common complaint that they don’t teach you many real-life skills in school.

Most of us still don’t know how our taxes work. Keeping track of money when there are so many bills to pay, is no easy task.

Sometimes, funny bumper stickers hit a little too close to home.

3. “Obi Wan Kenobi 20–. He’s Our Only Hope”

At this point, that might be true. We probably shouldn’t trust his VP, though, given what happened last time.

Actually, come to think of it, I’d elect Vader too. The press conferences alone would be awesome.

4. “Sorry for Driving So Close in Front of You”

There are many different ways to solve problems. Forgiveness is colloquially referred to as the high road. Revenge and sabotage are thought of as the low road.

Then, there’s passive-aggressiveness, for when you don’t really want to do either. It’s semi-humble, it’s sarcastic, and usually it serves to make the other person angrier.

If they get angry over a bumper sticker, that’s an added plus, because who gets angry over a bumper sticker?

5. “I’m 70. Leave Me the Hell Alone”

The good news is that you’re seventy and still on the road. That’s quite an accomplishment these days.

The bad news is that this bumper sticker is only good for about a year.

Still, the message is valid: Respect your elders. They’ve been around longer than you, and being old isn’t easy.

6. “I’m Only Speeding because I Really Have to Poop.”

Who hasn’t been there?

On a related note, this is why your parents told you to go before you left the house, and it’s still good advice now.

7. “No Baby on Board. Durex”

This is free advertising and good advice. Planned Parenthood estimates that condoms are about 85% effective, mostly due to human error.

Under perfect circumstances, they can be 98% effective. If this teaches us anything, it’s that we should be using multiple forms of birth control at once, just in case–and no, we don’t mean two condoms. That doesn’t work.

Also, how much funnier would this be if the sticker said ‘low sperm count’ instead of ‘Durex’?

8. “We Ate Your Stick Family”

This caption is often accompanied by a stick family designed to look like zombies. Personally, not making a version that substitutes the zombie graphic with the prison mask from The Silence of the Lambs seems like a missed opportunity, but to each their own.

In fact, there a whole bunch of references to animals of movie monsters that could be done here. The possibilities seem endless.

Of course, there are also countless other things to do with zombies.

9. “Nobody Cares About Your Stick Figure Family.”

This one comes with an image of a stick family being killed in some horrifying way, such as being shot or run over by a car. Why there’s so much hate against these stick figure families is anyone’s guess.

Perhaps anything that becomes popular is bound to draw hatred. That may just be an unfortunate fact of life.

What we do know is that the idea seems to have come from a company in Boise, Idaho, and shows no sign of slowing down.

10. “Horn Broken. Watch for Finger.”

Like many warnings in the world, this one seems to apply to people who are looking for an excuse more than advice. We may not have had an experience with such a person, but we’ve definitely heard of them.

There are people in the world who think that not being explicitly told what to do or not to do is an excuse to be as entitled and senseless as possible. This is why the charge of insurance fraud was invented.

This is a bumper sticker for those who are unwilling to deal with these people, and have no problem telling them where to get off.

The Best Funny Bumper Stickers

The world is full of funny bumper stickers. We’ve mentioned only a few of them in the paragraphs above, but there are plenty more out there.

If you want to know more, or are just up for a laugh, feel free to do more research on your own.

If you want a place to shop for funny bumper stickers of your own, please visit our site. We have a great selection of car decals of all kinds.